Unwilling

Paul also has a personal word about Apollos, and this is one of those things that make me wonder why God wanted some things included in scripture. Paul says (1 Cor 16:12) "Now about our brother Apollos: I strongly urged him to go to you with the brothers. He was quite unwilling to go now, but he will go when he has the opportunity."

You might remember Apollos as the other leader that some in the church preferred over Paul. That makes me think a few things about this verse.

First, Paul really must not have cared about this rival. He not only wrote elsewhere that it didn't matter who got credit, that it was God at work, but he actually wanted Apollos to go to Corinth when Paul couldn't. I think that shows that Paul just wanted the gospel to be spread and the church to be served. No empire-building there.

Second, I wonder what Apollos had going on that made now a bad time. Obviously Apollos didn't feel compelled to do what Paul asked him to; he wasn't in a good position to go at the moment but would when he could. Maybe that little fact is in the Bible just to let us know that sometimes our calls aren't immediate or time-specific. Maybe a closed door today just means wait a little bit,

There are some good things to ponder here. The first is how my feeble attempts at ministry compare to Paul's all-consuming passion. I'm more likely to exclude competitors and rivals, or, more accurately, people I just don't like very well. And I like the idea of my own empire, a little Kingdom of Greg where everyone loves me and thinks I'm brilliant. I'm afraid any honest evaluation of my motives would make my efforts to serve actually look self-serving.

The second is that maybe I need to look at calling(s) not as a once-and-done sort of thing. Maybe what God wants me to be doing is more fluid than that. Maybe it changes by the month, or even the day. Maybe what He has me doing today is just to prepare me to do something different tomorrow. Instead of settling into a comfortable place, maybe I need to be asking for orders every day.

And maybe once I'm done with this book I need to move on to a different author. Paul's unrelenting energy for obedience is a hard example to follow.