Confession time: I hated being an elder. I've served two terms now, and I struggled through both. And I wonder if that fact itself calls into question my fitness to be an elder.
Peter has pretty clear directions for elders: "To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder, a witness of Christ’s sufferings and one who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers–not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away." (1 Peter 5:1-4).
Be shepherds of the flock, serving not because I must, but because I am willing . . . But I'm not. I wasn't. And today that fact shames me, because Peter notes that God wants me to be willing. There's no escaping it: My attitude towards being an elder disappoints God, because I am the least willing elder you'll find.
I could bore you with my reasons (long, ineffective meetings; an archaic, non-functional governance system; the tendency to reverse past councils' work and the accompanying knowledge that some future council will just reverse ours). None of that matters.
God's people need leaders. I'm good at it; I've led thousands of people over my life, soldiers, employees and volunteers. I even do leadership training and mentoring. I'm God's man, He gifted me to lead, He wants me to do it and do it willingly. I do it, but with less enthusiasm than Archer at bedtime, and about the same amount of noisy complaining.
There's some small comfort in the rest of this passage: I don't think I lorded it over anyone, I wasn't greedy, I tried to be a good example. But I did it all because I felt coerced to do it, not because I wanted to.
I wonder if more people feel that way, about serving on council, or teaching Sunday School, or organizing the Angel Tree ministry? I hope not; if they do then we're a church full of miserable people.
If God wants me to serve again as elder, I will. I have between now and the time I'm asked to figure out how to do it willingly. Serving God in any task is a privilege; being entrusted to lead His people is a high honor. And grudging service brings no glory to God.
This strikes a chord with me, and calls again to mind work that God has been doing on my own heart recently. Over time like many folks, I've grown a bit jaded with the church, but God is showing me that the church is His glorious body being constructed on earth now. For whatever reason He chose to grant us membership and functions before we get to heaven, knowing full well we are all a bunch of lousy servants and frequently unChristlike in what we do. Every now and then I get a flash of clarity on the glory that really is in the church, and it causes me to love both Christ and His body. At those moments all the things that jade me fall away, I'm struck with the great privilege it is to have a role in His body, and I find my heart willing and wanting to serve however I can. And a lot more patient with my fellow servers. Those moments are few and far between, so that has become my prayer more often - Lord, help me see the glory of your church here on earth right now.
ReplyDeleteGreat prayer. Can I borrow it?
ReplyDelete