unseen seeds

Ever wonder if you're doing any good? I do. 

I had plans. I was going to change the world. That's the way 20-year-olds think, even decades ago. Thank God, he had better plans, and I get to live every day with the blessings I have. 

But one thing I don't have is any clear measurement that I make a difference in God's kingdom. Can't say for sure I ever was involved in a conversion. Can't say I helped a back-slider. I may have; in fact, I probably did. I just don't know it.

Sometimes that bothers me, but not today. This morning I read this analogy of the kingdom in Mark 4:26-29: "He also said, 'This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.'"

This reminds me that my basic call is to live in close relationship to God and try to act faithfully to him every day. If I do that, my faithful living results in seeds being scattered. Maybe something I said or did on council. Maybe when I taught catechism or adult Sunday School. Maybe this blog. Maybe a kind word or a prayer or just simple acceptance of a neighbor others disliked. Any or all of these things could have planted a seed.

So, maybe as I go about my days, sleeping and getting up, not having any idea if or how those seeds are growing, they do. Maybe I've done the bit God wanted me to, and now he's at working nurturing little seedlings that one day may produce kernels of faith. Maybe someday that harvest will come in.

These are thoughts that encourage me when I wonder if the things I do make a difference. Am I helping people? I think I am, it just feels like some of the things I do are good and right. But I can only put a name or face one a couple of friends who have confirmed it. And that's OK; in fact, this parable suggests that's how it's supposed to be. It may even be a measure of my faithfulness that I continue to do these things just to serve God, without any more reward than that.

I like to think that one of the things that will make heaven heavenly is that I get to know of, maybe even meet, the souls I helped along on their faith journeys. But even if I don't, more important is my longing to hear God say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."