something worse

Am I really ready for a Savior? Am I ready for the hard truth? Am I ready for the radical demands?

In the first part of John 5 there’s the story of the invalid who lay for 38 years by the pool of Bethesda, hoping for healing. Jesus healed him. And then, this is what Jesus said, in verse 14: “‘See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.’”

Is that what I want?

I certainly want Jesus’ grace. I want him to make me well, to solve my problems, to remove my limitations. But am I ready for the accountability? Am I ready to follow?

Jesus comes to me in my reading today and says, “I’ve shown you grace; now stop sinning.” Am I ready for that? Am I ready to become a voice of grace and graciousness in a culture that admires nastiness? Am I ready to stop indulging myself, and excusing my indulgences? Am I ready to love without judgment, and judge truth without bias? Am I ready to be done with lust and addiction in any of their forms?

But Jesus doesn’t pull any punches. He says, “I’ve shown you grace, but your own sins are going to bring worse on you than what I’ve so far healed you from.” His admonishment to stop sinning is itself a form of grace, intended as it is to save me from a dire future.

Jesus doesn’t make his grace contingent on me turning my back on sin. Jesus compounds his grace by caring enough to give me wise counsel. His blood is still sufficient for all my sin, but his love is great enough that he also wants me to avoid self-inflicted pain. 

Am I ready for that kind of savior, one who won’t leave me alone? One who’s going to be there every time I turn around, who will pursue me if I run? One who, having saved me, will nag me about my sins? Jesus is a savior who will tell me the hard truth, that just like too much fat or sugar, my sinful habits are killing me. He’s a savior who, knowing why I was made and whose image I was made in, will hold me accountable to standards higher than I can ever achieve.

Am I ready for that? Because that’s what I have.