Blessed

Sometimes it's easy to worry. We worry about a lot of things we can't control, like the weather or the economy. We worry about a lot of things that never happen, like losing the farm or an axe murderer ringing the doorbell.

I don't worry very much, but when it comes to the thought of standing up for my faith, sometimes I do. I think may be my peers will think less of me. I wonder if being visibly Christian will make anyone complain - these days you have to be careful about religion at work. I wonder if other managers might respect me less.

When I was a 17-year-old in Basic Training, it took me a week to dare to pray over my meal in the mess hall. I thought I'd be eaten alive; turned out no one really cared, as long as I didn't expect them to.

I need to hear Peter's advice, given in 1 Peter 3:13-14: "Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. 'Do not fear what they fear ; do not be frightened.'"

My problem: I can see people disliking me, or mocking me, as harm. Maybe that's what Peter means when he says not to fear what others fear. We're so sensitive about what people think of us; we want to be respected, valued. We want to be popular.

In my own (possibly peculiar) context, this verse sounds to me like God saying, "Don't worry about what people think; don't be afraid of possible damage to your professional reputation. Most people are going to accept you because everyone likes a good person, and if a few don't, well, that's your chance to prove your faith."

I want to be more like my parents - I can't picture either of the being wishy-washy or apologetic about their faith. They certainly seem to have the blessing this verse promises.

Paybacks

There used to be a saying in the Infantry that paybacks are hard (actually, most soldiers used a different H word, which could also be relevant to these reflections). It was meant as a warning; mess with the Infantry, expect payback.

This morning, though, I thought as I read Peter how true that statement is, but in the opposite way soldiers meant it. If you engage in paybacks, things get hard for you, and may even lead to that other H.

Listen to Peter (1 Peter 3:8-12): "Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, 'Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.'"

That's why it's wrong to use someone else's bad behavior to justify our own - that's repaying evil with evil. Jesus followers don't get even, Peter says. Our Lord expects us to be a blessing to everyone, no matter how they treat us. That's how we inherit the great blessing of salvation.

This passage suggests that vengeful people should not expect to love life, they shouldn't plan to see good days. In fact, they could wind up with the Lord's face against them. By contrast, God's ears are attentive to the prayers of those who respond to insults with blessings.

That's scary. Paybacks are indeed hard - on the ones delivering them.

Considerate

I think Peter let husbands off easy. Of course, he may recognize that he can't expect as much from men.

But, compared with his instructions to wives to be submissive, he gives this seemingly easy charge to the menfolk: (1 Peter 3:7) "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

Be considerate. All I have to do is consider her. Consider her desires, her viewpoint, her feelings, her moods, her needs . . . OK, maybe not so easy after all. Because being considerate is more than just considering, it's changing things so they line up with what you perceive about the other person's wants.

So on the way home, instead of thinking about how tired I am and what I feel like doing, I should be thinking about what I know of her day, how she's probably feeling, and what she would like me to do. For me, that's really hard. Maybe, as a friend once pointed out, God specifically mentions the things He knows we'll struggle with.

I don't know what to make of the reference to "weaker partner." Maybe I can lift more than Dawn, but I don't think I'm stronger than her in any other way. She's a tough cookie, and I don't think God puts a lot of value on which of us can do more push-ups. Maybe in some way wives are more vulnerable because they love their families so much.

What scares me a little about this verse is that it ends with a warning of sorts, a suggestion that not heeding could result in hindered prayer. Those days when I'm a self-centered jerk, that will impact my prayer life. Obviously I may not be as inclined to pray when I'm being like that, but Peter makes it sound like there's more. Maybe less of my prayers will accord with God's will when I'm being selfish.

Even though I don't always feel like chatting, or cuddling, or a concert, there's more to giving in than just keeping the peace or being nice. There's something about being considerate that she needs spiritually and that I am to provide as part of my obligation to her and my service to God.

Wives

I almost skipped over a passage today - the first time I've wanted to. The passage is 1 Peter 3:1-6: "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

A wise man doesn't attempt to instruct his wife on how to be a better wife. Or even to try to make a point about it with women in general. And even if I felt competent to do so, I'd be uneasy because it's obvious that I benefit. So, I'd like to be let off the hook today.

But it is scripture and I need to understand it. The phrase "in the same way" points back to the part of Peter's letter relating to Jesus not retaliating, but trusting to a just God. That and the final phrase "do not give way to fear" make us husbands sound like a pretty unpleasant bunch - "When your husband treats you like a slave or is mean to you, doing those frightening things, submit." I suppose for a newly converted Christian woman in Peter's time, married either to a pagan or a devout Jew, it could be rough.

A takeaway for me is that I should never make the submission God requires of my wife a burden for her, and certainly not a cause for fear, or something that tempts her to retribution.

I think the part about beauty doesn't prohibit things that make women look and feel beautiful - there's nothing wrong with looking your best. The point here is just as valid for men: The peace and kindness and gentleness that comes from being Godly will be more appealing to the kind of person you want to be with than whatever physical bait you're trolling with. Conversely, the partner you attract solely with your physical self is likely to disappoint you somewhere down the road.

What I want to say to my wife is, "Submit to God." I'll happily live with the outcome. But that's a cop-out, because scripture says she should submit to me. I just want to be worth it.

No retaliation

I'm not very good at turning the other cheek. It's not that I get even, but I'm not inclined to take a lot of guff. When people start in on me, I can usually find a way to make them back off.

Sometimes that seems like a good thing. After all, this is America, where we admire rough individualism, where a man is expected to stand on his own two feet, to pull his own weight, not to need help from anyone. Our society doesn't think much of you if you let others get the best of you.

That's not Christlike, though, not the way Peter describes Christ. 1 Peter 2:23-25: "When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls."

Jesus let people dis him; he let them hurt him, and he never said a word. It takes a tough man to do that. It takes a huge amount of self-confidence to let other people yammer at you and not respond. And it takes patience and tolerance. In Jesus case, it also was love; he took a lot from people because He loves us. Kind of like when a long-suffering wife excuses what her husband does when he's drunk, Jesus knew that we behave badly because we're under the influence of Satan.

So what's a guy to do? What Jesus did: " . . . entrusted himself to him who judges justly." Trust God, the ultimate fair Judge. That worked for Jesus because he had nothing to lose or fear from being judged; He was perfect. It works for us because of what's stated in verses 24 and 25: Jesus already took the judgment for our sins.

So there's no need to retaliate, nothing to gain by striking back. I'm covered, my judgment has been made, in my favor. That frees me to be concerned about the other person, and what I can do to help him.

Beatings

Sometimes scripture seems so relevant for today. Sometimes, not so much. Today I was really tempted to write some things off as in-applicable, but I have learned to be cautious in doing so.

Here's the passage I'm wrestling with (1 Peter 2:18-20) "Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God."

Obviously the idea of slavery and beatings are abhorrent, and the easy answer is that we are now in a new time and these things don't exist anymore. Slavery is far from dead in this world, and beatings a commonplace. I wonder what Peter would really say to a modern-day slave?

What I struggle with is that I understand God to be un-changing, and principles are supposed to be timeless. So if there was ever a time when God condoned slavery, then dare I say He changed His mind? That's one of three alternatives facing me. The other two are just as hard for me to grasp: that Peter made a mistake that somehow got incorporated into scripture, or that God is willing to overlook sins that are societal norms.

Obviously, I haven't resolved this question. The rest of the passage is actually pretty easy for me. Suffer unjustly? Of course that's going to happen; I've seen it hundreds of times. In those cases, I can choose to fight back, to get even, but then I look just like the world. That brings no glory to God. If I choose to accept the injustice in the name of a greater principle, there are two good outcomes. My strength and character grows because I chose obedience over my own rights, and the world sees and wonders.

But the whole slavery-beating thing? Even without understanding, I just have to accept that God is God, and He is good. Sometimes faith takes faith.

Authority

You can tell Peter wasn't an American.

Listen to this (1 Peter 2:13-17): "Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king."

See? I mean, really. Submit? Hey, not only do I question whether the guy's a Christian, he's a Democrat! And my boss? Nice guy, but some days he's not smart enough to pour water out of a boot (potentially job-saving disclaimer: this is rhetoric; my boss actually is brilliant). And then there's my wife - so emotional (potentially marriage-saving disclaimer: more rhetoric). If I submitted to everyone in authority positions, I wouldn't have a life at all.

Besides, the ignorant talk of foolish men is our national pastime, our favorite spectator sport. We call it "Internet." Or maybe talk radio.

Peter doesn't care about that, because God doesn't. Do good, to silence the foolish. Don't use freedom as a cover-up for evil. This kind of life is God's will, not whether or not I get home in time to watch the game.

So unless it's an unlawful order, I should submit. Does submitting include not undermining? No backstabbing, no griping, no gossip? Aw, rats . . .

As usual, probably best to focus on the action items: respect everyone, love the believers, fear God, honor Obama. A short, simple list that even I can remember.