Considerate

I think Peter let husbands off easy. Of course, he may recognize that he can't expect as much from men.

But, compared with his instructions to wives to be submissive, he gives this seemingly easy charge to the menfolk: (1 Peter 3:7) "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

Be considerate. All I have to do is consider her. Consider her desires, her viewpoint, her feelings, her moods, her needs . . . OK, maybe not so easy after all. Because being considerate is more than just considering, it's changing things so they line up with what you perceive about the other person's wants.

So on the way home, instead of thinking about how tired I am and what I feel like doing, I should be thinking about what I know of her day, how she's probably feeling, and what she would like me to do. For me, that's really hard. Maybe, as a friend once pointed out, God specifically mentions the things He knows we'll struggle with.

I don't know what to make of the reference to "weaker partner." Maybe I can lift more than Dawn, but I don't think I'm stronger than her in any other way. She's a tough cookie, and I don't think God puts a lot of value on which of us can do more push-ups. Maybe in some way wives are more vulnerable because they love their families so much.

What scares me a little about this verse is that it ends with a warning of sorts, a suggestion that not heeding could result in hindered prayer. Those days when I'm a self-centered jerk, that will impact my prayer life. Obviously I may not be as inclined to pray when I'm being like that, but Peter makes it sound like there's more. Maybe less of my prayers will accord with God's will when I'm being selfish.

Even though I don't always feel like chatting, or cuddling, or a concert, there's more to giving in than just keeping the peace or being nice. There's something about being considerate that she needs spiritually and that I am to provide as part of my obligation to her and my service to God.