Wives

I almost skipped over a passage today - the first time I've wanted to. The passage is 1 Peter 3:1-6: "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

A wise man doesn't attempt to instruct his wife on how to be a better wife. Or even to try to make a point about it with women in general. And even if I felt competent to do so, I'd be uneasy because it's obvious that I benefit. So, I'd like to be let off the hook today.

But it is scripture and I need to understand it. The phrase "in the same way" points back to the part of Peter's letter relating to Jesus not retaliating, but trusting to a just God. That and the final phrase "do not give way to fear" make us husbands sound like a pretty unpleasant bunch - "When your husband treats you like a slave or is mean to you, doing those frightening things, submit." I suppose for a newly converted Christian woman in Peter's time, married either to a pagan or a devout Jew, it could be rough.

A takeaway for me is that I should never make the submission God requires of my wife a burden for her, and certainly not a cause for fear, or something that tempts her to retribution.

I think the part about beauty doesn't prohibit things that make women look and feel beautiful - there's nothing wrong with looking your best. The point here is just as valid for men: The peace and kindness and gentleness that comes from being Godly will be more appealing to the kind of person you want to be with than whatever physical bait you're trolling with. Conversely, the partner you attract solely with your physical self is likely to disappoint you somewhere down the road.

What I want to say to my wife is, "Submit to God." I'll happily live with the outcome. But that's a cop-out, because scripture says she should submit to me. I just want to be worth it.