what I deserve

There are some words that simultaneously encourage and instill fear. For me, “you’ll get what you deserve” are words like that. I’d like to think I deserve a promotion, a raise, new stuff. The fact is, I probably deserve a swift kick in the caboose.

This morning, the prophet Jeremiah reminds me that this is an important topic. Jeremiah 32:18-19 reads, “Great and mighty God, whose name is the Lord Almighty, great are your purposes and mighty are your deeds. Your eyes are open to the ways of all mankind; you reward each person according to their conduct and as their deeds deserve.”

There’s a core problem in these verses for me and for all people: it won’t be my justifications or impassioned defense of my intentions that decides what I get. It will be my deeds. My record. All those things I did or didn’t do, stripped of their good intentions, measured not against my internal moral map but against God’s own holy standard.

That’s troubling, because my normal response when I find myself in trouble is, “Let me explain.” I think if people just would see things through my eyes they’d understand that my motives mitigate my performance. But God’s eyes, Jeremiah says, are open to my ways. He knows my inmost being, including all the lies I tell myself.

Are there enough good deeds to throw on the balance to outweigh the bad? I’d like to think so, but I’d hate to put it to the test.

Fortunately, there is grace. There is the cross. And in the end, when God evaluates my deeds, there’s only one that will decide: did I or did I not follow Jesus? If not, then nothing else I’ve done will be good enough. But if I have, then nothing else I’ve done matters. If I belong to Jesus, God sees his perfection in place of my tawdry record. And then, praise Jesus, I inherit heaven.