weighed down

Periodically, I spend time in self-evaluation. I review goals set previously, I reflect on how well I'm living life, I ask if I'm a good husband, father, friend, employee. I find some good and some bad. And I consistently find that the thing holding me back is my own bad choices.

For that reason, I could immediately relate to the people when Ezekiel was called to prophesy to them with these words (Ezekiel 33:10): “Son of man, say to the Israelites, ‘This is what you are saying: “Our offenses and sins weigh us down, and we are wasting away because of them. How then can we live?"'"

Those words "weighed down" have so many connotations. I think of marching with a full combat load. I think of swimming in my clothes, like I had to do in swimming lessons. I think of carrying a squirming baby around at the mall. I think of schlepping a briefcase and carry-on through the airport.

All of these cases have some things in common. There is a burden that slows me down and holds me back. And the burden also wears me down and makes me unhappy. Not only am I working a lot harder to make the same progress, but I'm miserable doing it.

That's the image God wants me to have in my head when I think about my sin. No matter what I thought when I decided to do it, that sin isn't making me happy. And it's keeping me from becoming a better person and a more obedient follower. 

It should lead me to ask, along with God's people, "How can I live?" As they said, my sin is causing me to do more than just waste my time; it's making me waste away. Every day I become less than I was the day before. This is a critical thing for me to recognize, because until I do, there's no turning around.

In the verses immediately following, God tells his people that it isn't too late, that they can still turn around and follow him. He promises not only that he won't hold their past sins against them, but also that he will give them joy and prosperity.

Joy and prosperity instead of burdens and misery. It's such an obvious choice, so why do I keep getting it wrong?