praise

As I think about this election year, I no longer think about who to vote for – that’s already been decided. I think mostly about how to keep strong relationships with people who choose differently than I have. I don’t want to lose any friends over the train-wreck that I fear is coming

Mostly I feel good about that position, but this morning I’m wondering. This morning I’m reminded that my human relationships aren’t necessarily the most important thing for me to be worrying about.

John 12 tells of the time when Jesus was teaching in the tabernacle, shorting before the Last Supper. Verses 42-43 say, “Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved human praise more than praise from God.”

When I read this, far from judging these leaders, I feel empathy. I feel bad that they find it so hard to do the right thing because of the difficult people they have to live and work with. I understand how they can be pressured to keep silent; I relate.

That makes me wonder if I do as well with this as I think I do. I wonder if I am not, through pressure or seduction, more comfortable with the praise of people than I am putting up with their disapproval in order to win praise from God.

The problem is, right now at least, God’s praise isn’t as overt, as concrete, as the praise of men. When people like me, they say nice things. They pat me on the back, they brag me up to others. It feels good, and even that good feeling is encouraged. It’s all part of nurturing my reputation, right? Part of building my brand?

Compared to that, praise from God sounds like . . . what? Can I even hear it? Is it a warm feeling in my heart? Something else? Or am I simply waiting for the day I see him face to face, and hear him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant?” Sure, sometimes God’s people may praise me, but how do I distinguish that from the human praise I’m not supposed to love?

It seems plausible that sometimes, even as my head fixes itself on obedience, my heart orients towards the social rewards I get from pleasing other people. How do I know? How do I fight that?

Ideally, I would mostly be with people who will praise me for the same things God would. Maybe, as I think about the rest of it, that’s a place to start.