mistrust

Sometimes families can be the worst. When brothers fall out, or different branches of the clan get after each other, it seems like forgiveness is harder to offer. Maybe that’s because we don’t expect strangers to care much about us, but family should. Betrayal by family cuts deeper than any other kind.

I’m thinking these dark thoughts this morning because I read in Numbers 20 about what happened when the offspring of Jacob and Esau met up at the town of Kadesh. Israel was traveling from Egypt to the Promised Land, and they made a reasonable request. The story plays out in verses 16-21:

“’Now we are here at Kadesh, a town on the edge of your territory. Please let us pass through your country. We will not go through any field or vineyard, or drink water from any well. We will travel along the King's Highway and not turn to the right or to the left until we have passed through your territory.’
“But Edom answered: ‘You may not pass through here; if you try, we will march out and attack you with the sword.’
“The Israelites replied: ‘We will go along the main road, and if we or our livestock drink any of your water, we will pay for it. We only want to pass through on foot—nothing else.’
“Again they answered: ‘You may not pass through.’
“Then Edom came out against them with a large and powerful army. Since Edom refused to let them go through their territory, Israel turned away from them.”

This is the outcome of that business with the red lentil stew, when Jacob was quick to exploit his a starving Esau and extort from him his birthright. And of the way Jacob cheated Esau of their father’s blessing. Generations later, Edom sees no reason to trust Israel, no reason to take them at their word.

It makes me think of our human tendency to remember old grievances. Church is a good example. In my lifetime the Orthodox CRC decided my denomination made too many compromises with the world and went its own way, and they still judge us. But when I was a child we judged the Reformed Church for not sending their kids to Christian school. Keep going back and you see where the Calvinists and the Lutherans and the Baptists all decided a certain theologian had the best insight, or even before that there was an even call the Protestant Reformation where a permanent schism in the church took place.  As a result, worship wars are plentiful and vicious, leaving maimed and wounded ministries in their wake.

More recently we’ve become fearful of people from other nations who grew up with different world views and value systems. Those things threaten us and make us fearful, which is natural. But sometimes we respond with mistrust and suspicion, which shouldn’t be a Christian’s default response. We find isolated cases to justify our prejudice, forgetting that we don’t want to be tarred with the brush of evils committed by our kind.

So this morning I’m playing What If. I started with musing about what might have happened if Jacob had been generous with Esau and had looked out for his brother’s interests over his own. That led me to think of a few What Ifs in my own life, with my own four brothers, with my wife, with my church, and at work. And that led me to think about some national What Ifs involving different responses to indigenous people, to immigrant groups, to the exploitative despots we’ve often made our friends.

In the end, they all are the same question: What If I acted like Jesus? That could avert a lot of hostility.