no trust

The start of Deuteronomy is one of my favorite parts of the Bible. Deuteronomy is the book where Moses, preparing to part with God’s people as they entered the promised land, literally lays down the law. But before he does, he spends some time reminding the people of all the ways God has been faithful during their long walk in the desert.

It’s a reminder, as a good friend said yesterday, not just of God’s faithfulness but also of human stubbornness. Here’s a great example, a little piece of history recalled by Moses for the people in Deuteronomy 1:29-32

“Then I said to you, ‘Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the wilderness. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.’
“In spite of this, you did not trust in the Lord your God, who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night and in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go.”

In spite of God’s nurturing goodness, so beautifully described in this passage, the people didn’t trust God. How could that be? They witnessed all kinds of amazing things from God, yet no trust.

It’s unthinkable, until I think about myself. I struggle to trust. I often behave as if I don’t trust the people who’ve been most faithful to me for the longest time, like my wife or parents. I fret about things they are handling for me; I try to micro-manage them because I think that’s the only way things will turn out exactly the way I want.

Even more so with God. Boy, do I have a hard time leaving things in God’s hands. It’s so hard for me to believe that once I turn something over to him, I can really let it go because he’s going to do exactly what’s best for me. I have all kinds of helpful suggestions for God, and I often worry until I see how it all turns out

If I’d been with the people back then, I’d have been one of those saying, “Are you serious? Those are dangerous people; a guy could get hurt! Couldn’t God do another one of his floods or something?”

The good news is, it doesn’t matter much; God is who he is, and will do what he’s going to do. And whatever he does will be good. My lack of trust just makes me miserable. I imagine God smiling as I throw my little tantrum in the backseat of the car on the way to something that I’m going to love.

I want to trust more; I’m going to try. But I’m comforted by the fact that whether I trust or not, God will continue to be completely trustworthy.