leftovers

Sometimes I believe I’m becoming more like Jesus, thinking more like him; sometimes I realize that I’ve only gone a few steps of a journey thousands of miles long.

This morning I realize that what I think of as helping people is too limited. The blessing I try to be to others is a very faint shadow of what Jesus intends; my concept of what is appropriate is far too cheap.

I realized that while reading of Jesus’ miraculous feeding of the 5,000, one of his signature miracles. Here’s the pertinent part, from Luke 9:16-17: “Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke them. Then he gave them to the disciples to distribute to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.”

I’ve read this passage dozens of times, and have often marveled at exactly the same thing: Jesus’ lavishness in pouring out his blessing. Faced with a crowd of hungry people, he conjured food from nowhere. He turned a few loaves and fish into abundance. Not just enough to meet their caloric needs and keep them alive; not just enough to end the hunger pangs.

Jesus provided enough food that everyone was satisfied, everyone had as much as they wanted. And even more: for every doubting, wondering disciple, there was one extra basket of food. I used to wonder how big the baskets were, but it doesn’t matter. Jesus message seems pointed enough to me. They said, “Send them away, we can’t possibly help them.” Jesus, after helping every person there, seems to reply, “Here, guys, some leftovers for each of you. Take it home for tomorrow’s lunch.”

How much giving is enough? How much blessing should I try to provide? Enough to communicate the key truth that my God’s providence is abundant and never-ending; enough to seem more like an outpouring of love than a meeting of basic needs.

What I do is the first and best way to communicate who I serve. Do I really want people to think Jesus is as stingy as I am?