Families

One of the many things my family thinks is weird about me is that I like the very first part of Matthew 1, that long genealogy of Christ. But I do; in fact, it's one of my comfort passages.

You see, Jesus' family was just as dysfunctional as mine. Not only that, but a few folks who sinned as much as I do played roles in God's plan to bring us a savior.

In this list you find harlots, philanderers and killers. Rahab, lady of the night who committed treason to save herself; Judah, who slept with his daughter thinking she was a temple prostitute. And oh by the way, he also took part in selling his own brother to slavers. I fit right in.

And there are a bunch of unknowns. Oh sure, Jesus' forebears included Abraham and David, and some others whose lives are fairly well chronicled. But Shealtiel? Azor? Matthan? These are men who didn't do anything that would have been helpful to include in scripture.

They may have lived quiet lives of dedicated faithfulness, in which case they motivate me not to worry too much about huge acts of faith, but instead to live each moment faithfully. Or maybe they were rogues and scoundrels, which reminds me that God uses even the godless to accomplish His ends. No failure on my part will change one detail in His mighty plan.

But the best part, for me, is the stories of God's faithfulness embedded in this genealogy. Boaz, the faithful kinsman-redeemer of the poor Moabite widow Ruth. Isaac, for whom God provided a wife and life partner who shared his faith when he lived among the heathens. Abraham, who was ready to kill his son, and was given a wild ram (hmmm, could that angel have been Gabriel?). Solomon, God's blessing to His people given to David through the wife he stole, Bathsheba.

It just amazes me that through all the centuries, as God worked out His master plan to defeat Satan and save us, He also strewed blessings in every direction, every step of the way. He patiently taught and faithfully provided and sometimes surprised and shocked His people with His goodness. As He brought history to the day of victory, He also gave joy to husbands and wives, comfort to widows and orphans, strength to those He called to serve Him. With God, everything is about more than just one thing, but one of His favorite things is to bless homes and families, and ordinary people in their ordinary lives.

There's a huge amount of hope for me in this genealogy of Jesus. It's always a perfect start to Advent.

Messenger

I usually shift my devotions during Advent, so I'm taking a month-long break from Peter. 

I have the same thought every Advent season: I think Gabriel had a great job. This is what he told Zechariah in Luke 1:19: “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news."

Gabriel was God's messenger. He stood in God's throne room, heard God's plans, and sometimes God would turn to him and say, "I need to you take a message to so-and-so." In addition to his role in the Christmas saga, we know that Gabriel appeared to Daniel in his visions; he's the one who explained what the visions meant. That makes me wonder how many other times in scripture, when an un-named angel brought a message from God (Abraham, Jacob, Gideon, Balaam), it might have been Gabriel.

Even if it was only the few instances when he was named, think of it. Gabriel knew the whole plan. He might have been there the day Satan and his followers were cast down; he certainly understood what Jesus would do here on earth. He had to have know about the cross, but he also likely knew all about the new Zion as described in Hebrews 12, where angels and the saved will rejoice together in the streets.

Knowing all of this, taking messages to Zechariah and Mary that foretold the birth of the Messiah and the one who would prepare the way for him must have been a lot of fun. I don't know if angels experience emotions like we do, but if it were me, I'd feel like a little kid taking part in a great surprise, something you know is going to be really good.

But if it looks like that much fun, why don't I do it? I've been entrusted with the same great message, only after the fact. I've been sent by the same God. But the sad fact is, I like to be the messenger to the ones who have already heard. I don't get excited about telling it to the ones who need it most.

Loyalty

It's funny sometimes how God gets me thinking.

I'm playing a computer game with my sons right now that has strong themes of loyalty. You can choose to take part in a rebellion, presented as liberating the people; you can support the existing government. You can join groups based on your race, or your profession, or your religion. 

This is a secular game set in an alternate world with strong Roman Empire overtones, so all of the religions are pagan, and every clique uses situational ethics. Bad things you do to your enemies are OK, if they result in good things for your friends. 

But what has me thinking is this idea of loyalty. When interests conflict, how do you choose what's right? Life is frequently like that, so it's a question that's been stuck in my mind.

So this morning, the very first sentence I read in Peter is this: "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord." (1 Peter 3:15).

Conflicting loyalties and situational ethics can bog us down when we forget where our true loyalty lies. When we're trying to avoid stressful confrontations, or disappointing others, or making them dislike us, or emotional or physical pain, all those situations in life are hard to figure out.

But our Lord has a pretty simple set of rules. With Him, it usually isn't hard to figure out what's right, so much as it is to convince ourselves that's what we're really going to do.

Loyalty to Christ means that earthly wealth, position, or relationships are secondary to heavenly ones. We want only as much as we need to live obediently; the rest we give away. Positions of power are of little use; work in soup kitchens becomes more attractive. And the relationship that gets clear priority over every other one is our relationship with God.

It's easy to see in the end where most people's loyalties are. Is it obvious to the world which Lord I serve?

Blessed

Sometimes it's easy to worry. We worry about a lot of things we can't control, like the weather or the economy. We worry about a lot of things that never happen, like losing the farm or an axe murderer ringing the doorbell.

I don't worry very much, but when it comes to the thought of standing up for my faith, sometimes I do. I think may be my peers will think less of me. I wonder if being visibly Christian will make anyone complain - these days you have to be careful about religion at work. I wonder if other managers might respect me less.

When I was a 17-year-old in Basic Training, it took me a week to dare to pray over my meal in the mess hall. I thought I'd be eaten alive; turned out no one really cared, as long as I didn't expect them to.

I need to hear Peter's advice, given in 1 Peter 3:13-14: "Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. 'Do not fear what they fear ; do not be frightened.'"

My problem: I can see people disliking me, or mocking me, as harm. Maybe that's what Peter means when he says not to fear what others fear. We're so sensitive about what people think of us; we want to be respected, valued. We want to be popular.

In my own (possibly peculiar) context, this verse sounds to me like God saying, "Don't worry about what people think; don't be afraid of possible damage to your professional reputation. Most people are going to accept you because everyone likes a good person, and if a few don't, well, that's your chance to prove your faith."

I want to be more like my parents - I can't picture either of the being wishy-washy or apologetic about their faith. They certainly seem to have the blessing this verse promises.

Paybacks

There used to be a saying in the Infantry that paybacks are hard (actually, most soldiers used a different H word, which could also be relevant to these reflections). It was meant as a warning; mess with the Infantry, expect payback.

This morning, though, I thought as I read Peter how true that statement is, but in the opposite way soldiers meant it. If you engage in paybacks, things get hard for you, and may even lead to that other H.

Listen to Peter (1 Peter 3:8-12): "Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, 'Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.'"

That's why it's wrong to use someone else's bad behavior to justify our own - that's repaying evil with evil. Jesus followers don't get even, Peter says. Our Lord expects us to be a blessing to everyone, no matter how they treat us. That's how we inherit the great blessing of salvation.

This passage suggests that vengeful people should not expect to love life, they shouldn't plan to see good days. In fact, they could wind up with the Lord's face against them. By contrast, God's ears are attentive to the prayers of those who respond to insults with blessings.

That's scary. Paybacks are indeed hard - on the ones delivering them.

Considerate

I think Peter let husbands off easy. Of course, he may recognize that he can't expect as much from men.

But, compared with his instructions to wives to be submissive, he gives this seemingly easy charge to the menfolk: (1 Peter 3:7) "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

Be considerate. All I have to do is consider her. Consider her desires, her viewpoint, her feelings, her moods, her needs . . . OK, maybe not so easy after all. Because being considerate is more than just considering, it's changing things so they line up with what you perceive about the other person's wants.

So on the way home, instead of thinking about how tired I am and what I feel like doing, I should be thinking about what I know of her day, how she's probably feeling, and what she would like me to do. For me, that's really hard. Maybe, as a friend once pointed out, God specifically mentions the things He knows we'll struggle with.

I don't know what to make of the reference to "weaker partner." Maybe I can lift more than Dawn, but I don't think I'm stronger than her in any other way. She's a tough cookie, and I don't think God puts a lot of value on which of us can do more push-ups. Maybe in some way wives are more vulnerable because they love their families so much.

What scares me a little about this verse is that it ends with a warning of sorts, a suggestion that not heeding could result in hindered prayer. Those days when I'm a self-centered jerk, that will impact my prayer life. Obviously I may not be as inclined to pray when I'm being like that, but Peter makes it sound like there's more. Maybe less of my prayers will accord with God's will when I'm being selfish.

Even though I don't always feel like chatting, or cuddling, or a concert, there's more to giving in than just keeping the peace or being nice. There's something about being considerate that she needs spiritually and that I am to provide as part of my obligation to her and my service to God.

Wives

I almost skipped over a passage today - the first time I've wanted to. The passage is 1 Peter 3:1-6: "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

A wise man doesn't attempt to instruct his wife on how to be a better wife. Or even to try to make a point about it with women in general. And even if I felt competent to do so, I'd be uneasy because it's obvious that I benefit. So, I'd like to be let off the hook today.

But it is scripture and I need to understand it. The phrase "in the same way" points back to the part of Peter's letter relating to Jesus not retaliating, but trusting to a just God. That and the final phrase "do not give way to fear" make us husbands sound like a pretty unpleasant bunch - "When your husband treats you like a slave or is mean to you, doing those frightening things, submit." I suppose for a newly converted Christian woman in Peter's time, married either to a pagan or a devout Jew, it could be rough.

A takeaway for me is that I should never make the submission God requires of my wife a burden for her, and certainly not a cause for fear, or something that tempts her to retribution.

I think the part about beauty doesn't prohibit things that make women look and feel beautiful - there's nothing wrong with looking your best. The point here is just as valid for men: The peace and kindness and gentleness that comes from being Godly will be more appealing to the kind of person you want to be with than whatever physical bait you're trolling with. Conversely, the partner you attract solely with your physical self is likely to disappoint you somewhere down the road.

What I want to say to my wife is, "Submit to God." I'll happily live with the outcome. But that's a cop-out, because scripture says she should submit to me. I just want to be worth it.