Are we too tolerant in the church, or are we intolerant?

I think the answer to that question depends on who we’re dealing with. We might, in my opinion, be too intolerant of people who aren’t believers; sometimes we’re pretty quick to judge them when they haven’t even accepted values we live by. For unbelievers, I think we should offer more latitude than we do; love seems a better course than judgment.

For church members, though, I wonder if we’re not too tolerant. I say this because of what I read in Matthew 18:15-17: 

“‘If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that “every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.’”

In my Bible, these verses are in red letters, meaning Jesus said this. And it makes me think of all the times I’ve pretended not to notice the sins of my fellow believers. In fact, I remember a time when I was an elder and we actually came to a decision not to talk to a member who had just gotten an OWI. I didn’t think it was right at the time, but he was a member of a long-standing church family that we didn’t want to embarrass; on top of that, it seemed like confronting him would require us to confront some other hard drinkers in our church, people we hadn’t had reason to talk to before.

It’s hard to hold each other accountable for our sin, but it’s a necessary feature of the church. The church is God’s provision to us in this world, and one of the best things it does is help us not to conform to the sinful patterns we see around us. 

I’m not sure that means I should be more judgmental of fellow believers; it probably means I should be more loving. I should love them enough to want to help them, in the same way I’d take car keys away from a drunk. 

I am sure that it means I should be more willing to let others judge me.