better man

Here’s one of the things that I struggle to understand: Why are non-Christians sometimes better people than Christians?

I’m pondering that question this morning because I read, in Genesis 26, about Isaac repeating the same mistake his dad made twice before: he lied and presented his wife as his sister. In all three cases these two Godly men were moved by personal fear (read, “lack of trust”) to put their wives in a position where they might have to fight for their honor.

But when Isaac did this while staying with the Philistines, their king, Abimelek, found him out. And then we read this, in verses 9 and 10: 

“So Abimelek summoned Isaac and said, ‘She is really your wife! Why did you say, “She is my sister”?’

Isaac answered him, ‘Because I thought I might lose my life on account of her.’

Then Abimelek said, ‘What is this you have done to us? One of the men might well have slept with your wife, and you would have brought guilt upon us.’”

I guess my current experience with non-believers predisposes me to think that they’re less sexually moral that God’s people, but Abimelek knows and all his people know you don’t sleep with another man’s wife. Abimelek is rightfully angry that Isaac was tempting his men to sin. 

But Abimelek will turn out to be a pretty good friend and neighbor for Isaac, showing that not only does he value marriage, but he knows how to forgive. In this story, Abimelek is the better man.

When I consider my own behavior, it gets easier to understand, and harder to condemn Isaac. I easily excuse things I do that anger me when others do them. I am just as likely to take matters into my own hands as I am to wait patiently for God. And I can sometimes decide that what I’m facing is an earthly matter that God won’t be interested in fixing for me. Any or all of these things can put in me in positions where I behave badly, even compared to people who don’t call themselves Christian.

When I consider who is the better person, and what makes them so, I have to remember that Jesus is the standard and none of us will come close to living up to it. The comparisons are not only unhelpful, they’re invalid because I’m comparing two sinners. My mistake is in thinking only of the other guy as a failure.

Instead of trying to the better man, instead of comparing, I’m going to try find ways to partner. What can we learn from each other? How can we help each other? Maybe if I work with others to make this world closer to what Jesus wants, I can become less judgmental and they can see something attractive in a Jesus-follower.