plans

It’s hard to see God working when we’re in the middle of our own problems. If we don’t intentionally watch, it’s easy to miss.

I thought that this morning reading about the time Israel’s family ran out of food, for the second time, and needed to go back to Egypt to get more. Their brother Joseph (although they didn’t know it was him) had said they couldn’t come back without their youngest brother, Benjamin.

Israel dug in his heels, because Benjamin was the last remaining son (or so he thought) of his beloved Rachel. But the brothers were adamant; they would not go to Egypt without Benjamin. There was no point.

Then I read this, in Genesis 43:6 6: “Israel asked, ‘Why did you bring this trouble on me by telling the man you had another brother?’”

That simple statement, one sentence, stopped me. For one thing, it seemed so quintessentially Jacob: “You should have lied! You could have deceived that ruler and avoided all this!” But it also seemed so human. Who of us, faced with a reality we don’t want to accept, hasn’t said some “if only” statement similar to this?

But we know the whole story. We know that Israel still has two sons of Rachel, not one; we know that he’s about to be reunited with the long-lost Joseph. And so, with that wonderful ending in sight, I find myself shaking my head at Israel’s peevishness. God is about to bless him, and he’s resisting the blessing!

But I’m sure I’ve done the same thing – in fact, I know I have. I can think of times when I have. So in the end, it reminds me of my own inability to fully get with God’s program.

The truth is this: often I’m so sure I know the best thing, and I’m so focused on my own desires, that I can’t see God working. In fact, I can resist God, because he isn’t doing what I’m trying to do and I think that what he’s doing isn’t helpful. But in the end, I see the blessing God was trying to give me all along.

So, much as I can dislike Israel, today I identify with him. I feel empathy, because when I read his words I hear my own voice. Thank God that he doesn’t leave me to my own plans!