conflict

I remember a contentious discussion in council one time over a topic that was splitting our church. A wise elder made the point, “I’m sure there are some things Jesus would prioritize over unity among believers, but I don’t think there are very many and I doubt this is one of them.”

The author of Proverbs supported that viewpoint in Proverbs 6:16-19: “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”

Stirring up conflict, according to these verses, is hated by God as much as pride, lying, violence, and wickedness. That’s how much he values unity.

That’s not to say we all have to agree. But it does suggest that we need to work out our disagreements in respectful ways that are inclusive and tend, in the end, to bind us together.

That’s a word directed at me. I’m no longer likely to get into arguments about things, or to grumble about leaders or decisions I don’t agree with. Oh, I do some of it, but not like I used to. These days, though, I’m likely just to turn my back on those people and ignore them. I go instead to those I agree with. 

I used to see that as more mature, as avoiding arguments. I wonder this morning if this too doesn’t contribute to conflict; maybe I’m not stirring it up, but I’m not doing much to calm it down either. 

The opposite of stirring up conflict is promoting unity. That means bringing people together. It means finding middle ground. It means ensuring that I treat everyone, even those I think are wrong, with respect and love. It means letting go of my certainty of my own rightness and listening openly, keeping in mind the possibility that the other person may be right.

Just letting the argument slide by seems like a cop-out. It’s going to be a lot harder to actually bring people together. But I think that’s what Christ-followers are supposed to do.