pondering

Psalm 111​:1 Praise the Lord. I will extol the Lord with all my heart in the council of the upright and in the assembly. Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them.

Ponder is an interesting word. According to various dictionaries, it means to think deeply about something, to consider it from every angle, even to meditate about it. Using those definitions, I wonder, based on the verse above, if I can really claim to delight the the great works of the Lord.

You see, I can’t claim really to think deeply about them, unless I happen to be working on a sermon. I know what it is to ponder something; I’ve pondered the tactical and strategic lessons of past battles, the subtle differences between warbler species, the best way to build a deck. I’m familiar with that feeling of being so engrossed in something that my mind returns to it constantly.

And yet, I can’t really remember when some work of God occupied my mind like that. I’m aware of the great things he did for his people as recorded in scripture. I’m even more familiar with the things he’s done for me personally. Yet I tend to give these things momentary thought, enough time for a prayer or a song, and then my mind is on to other, more engaging topics.

That suggests that my relationship with God is in some way less interesting or less important, or maybe just less immediate, than my passion for military history, my enjoyment of birding, or my interest in making a nice home for myself. Or any of a half-dozen other things that fill my days.

This is a problem that won’t be solved just by devoting time to it. I think the sequence in the verse is delight first, which leads to pondering. I can force myself to think about God, but will that produce delight in him? How do I generate delight in God, so that I naturally ponder his works?

I don’t know the answer, but I’m reminded of what a former pastor used to say about what to do if you don’t love your spouse. “Act as if you do,” he would say. “Eventually, you will.” Maybe there’s something there that will help. Or maybe the first thing I need to ponder is why Jesus sacrificed himself for someone so disinterested as me.