My body isn't mine?

OK, I'm ready for Paul to get off the topic of sex. I think he keeps hammering on it, though, because it's so hard for us to get right. It's hard for the same old reason: we're too often self-centered.

This morning I read this (1Cor7:2-5): "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

My first thought was, "Lord, how counter-cultural do you think we can really be?" It's things like this that make others think Christians are radical whackos.

First, there's the statement that our spouses get authority over our bodies. What happens to autonomy? What about, "It's my body so it's my business?" But Paul is clear, and I can only think that he is reminding us that within the marriage partnership, some things become joint decisions. My wife has a right to expect a vote in what I do with my body, certainly in sexual activity. It raises the very difficult question of whether she has a right to expect me to work at maintaining a reasonably attractive body.

But then there's this whole thing about conjugal rights, and the idea that I can't deprive my wife, or she me, unless we both agree to it. Really? That would mean that cutting your spouse off as a power tactic is off limits. So is letting your spouse live without because you've lost interest.

The core issue is probably this: With sex and our bodies as with everything else, we mayn't be selfish. When we're deciding how to behave, we must think first of the needs of others, and of God's guidance.

There's also the admonition not to lead others astray. Paul says our behavior can induce our spouses to sin. Our behavior can also induce another's spouse to sin, if we make ourselves more attractive to him/her than his/her partner. 

What God wants from us married folks is this: Within the framework of mutual agreement, we're to love our spouses with our bodies. Doesn't seem like it should be that hard. Why is it?