Servant, not service

Boy, this apostle business doesn't sound like a lot of fun. Listen to Paul (1 Cor 4:9-13). "For I think that God has exhibited us apostles as last of all, like men sentenced to death, because we have become a spectacle to the world, to angels, and to men. We are fools for Christ's sake, but you are wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong. You are held in honor, but we in disrepute. To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless, and we labor, working with our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we entreat. We have become, and are still, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things."

Wow: Spectacle to the world . . . weak, held in disrepute . . . hunger, thirst, poorly dressed . . . buffeted and homeless . . . and labor. Why would anyone do that?

Paul's point, I think, is that he isn't out building an empire for himself, he isn't doing this for Paul. Paul's not getting much out of it. Instead, in the truest sense of servant-hood, he and his fellow apostles are spending themselves in pursuit of the Master's goals.

I can't honestly say I do that. I'm comfortable -- like my job, make decent money, nice house, good food, some leisure time. I'm not looking for ways to make my life harder; more like the opposite. I'm willing to serve, sure, in fact I look for ways every day. But I tend to pick and choose.

Make myself a spectacle? I'll pass (although Janie VD has gotten me a couple times.) Hunger and thirst? I'm not at my most graceful that way. Buffeted and homeless? I don't think so. 

No, give me service opportunities I can do on my own schedule, in ways that are comfortable to me, someplace where it's not too inconvenient. Otherwise, give someone else a chance to be blessed.

This train of thought reminds me how much time I spend working toward the wrong goals. I live as though life here on earth was the point. I forget that anything I build here I build for me, and it won't last. What has value is the time and effort I put into God's kingdom; I'll spend a lot more time there than here, and whatever I build there, God promises, will last.

We like the idea of service -- that sounds noble, and gives us choices. I get less excited about servant-hood. That sounds like fewer options and no time off. But I think we're called to be servants, not to provide a service. It's worth thinking about the differences.