weary

I had a rare moment this morning of empathy with God - is that too irreverent to say? I did, though. Something I read in Isaiah 1 reminded me of all those times I was just sick  and tired of putting up with things. I didn't want one more person to approach me with one more complaint or one more request.

Here's the passage, from Isaiah 1:13-15, where God says, 

"'I cannot bear your worthless assemblies.

Your New Moon feasts and your appointed festivals

I hate with all my being.

They have become a burden to me;

I am weary of bearing them.

When you spread out your hands in prayer,

I hide my eyes from you;

even when you offer many prayers,

I am not listening.' "

But in just three verses, God feels differently: 

"'Come now, let us settle the matter,' says the Lord.

'Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red as crimson,

they shall be like wool.'" (Isaiah 1:18)

That's the part I don't empathize with as well, but I'm grateful for it. I know that sometimes my worship isn't God-centered, and my lifestyle doesn't look like worship at all. I know that even when my life is OK, my heart often isn't. And my prayers are often thoughtless and quick, more checking off a requirement than what you would call fervent. I have given God plenty of reason not to listen when I pray. 

But he does. Even in the face of 55 years of bad behavior, he invites me to reconcile. He offers complete forgiveness; he reminds me he can clean me up and make me presentable again. Amazing grace!

It's why, no matter how weak I am, I never stop loving him.