Reflections on God's travel guide to my journey back home.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

testing the heart

There’s a saying about cats: You can’t teach cats to stay off the table; you can only teach them to stay off the table when you’re in the room. It’s a commentary on the independent willfulness of cats compared to more compliant pets like dogs.

I think people might be worse, or at least I might be. Left on my own, I tend to default pretty quickly to what makes me happy.

I thought about that trait this morning as I read about King Hezekiah in 2 Chronicles 32:31 Toward the end of his reign, which was mostly successful, it says, “But when envoys were sent by the rulers of Babylon to ask him about the miraculous sign that had occurred in the land, God left him to test him and to know everything that was in his heart.”

That verse chilled me. I thought of all the times I railed against God for being silent. I thought of him watching me to see what was in my heart. I thought of my heart closing up like a fist and turning to other things for comfort. If God was testing me like he did Hezekiah to know everything that was in my heart, I’m afraid it was a test I failed.

The truth is, I walk closely with God when I can feel him there. If I don’t sense him close, I tend to wander. Am I unusual? Maybe I am. I don’t see others jumping on the table when they think the Master has left the room.

In the end, my meditation led me back to grace. For all the tests of the heart that I must have failed, I am still God’s child. I still feel his love this morning, and see his providence in my recent yesterdays. I still feel that pull toward his throne, and that desire to please him. Those things don’t come from my human heart, full as it is with un-godly things. They come from a heart changed by Jesus. Amazing grace indeed.

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