forgetting

Sometimes I remember something I did or said that still embarrasses me, and I cringe. Sometimes I think back on decisions that seem to have shaped or defined my life, or closed off options, and I have regrets. Sometimes I recall my first indulgence in a sin I’ve since struggled with and wish I could have it all back. Honestly, on bad days it’s hard not to waste a lot of energy fighting my past.

That’s why Philippians 3:12-14 is always encouraging for me: “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

“Forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead” would be a good life motto for me. If I could only push all those regrets and wishes out of my head for good! If only I could see that those things don’t define me if I put my hope in Jesus! If only what I saw ahead of me was so exciting that I pulled toward it like a dog at the end of its leash.

I get all these truths in my head, but often my heart feels differently. 

But it’s a goal. Today, I can work on forgetting the past, or at least embracing it because it formed me. Today I can look at myself as a worker equipped, in part by my experiences, for kingdom work. Today I can make peace with my regrets and look instead at my blessings. And today I can let go of my sin because praise Jesus it no longer has power over me.

Today, I can keep my focus on what’s still to come. I can’t really control that either, but I know as long as I follow my Lord that the future involves good things.